21 Month Update - Mila

I can't believe how quickly we are inching towards Mila's 2nd birthday!  We went and toured two preschools last week and I fell in love with one of them so we will be sending Mila there at some point. I had originally decided to send her after her 2nd birthday but now that I will be going out on maternity leave shortly after that I think I will just keep her home with me for a while.  It seems like a great school and I get so excited just thinking about her going there, hanging out with friends and learning new things!

We also announced to the world this week that we were expecting another baby.  Mila is aware that there's a baby in there because she says "baaaaybeee" and lifts my shirt up and kisses my belly. I don't think she fully gets that it's a BABY though.

Favorite Foods: I'm removing this category going forward because she obviously loves all food!

Signature Moves: someone has taught her (word on the street is it was grandpa) to put her fingers in her ears when you are talking to her so she now does that when you ask her to do something; it's equally hilarious and annoying!

She also has been paying much more attention to Roscoe lately and by attention I mean she has been harassing him left and right.  He doesn't even move anymore when she tries to sit on him and her new favorite thing is to chase him around the house with one of her push toys.  I would say "poor Roscoe" but I think he enjoys all of the attention.

Mila has also developed an obsession with hats in the past month. Robert gave her one of his old hats and she carries it around the house and puts it on; and looks absolutely adorable when doing so.

While she is not actually peeing or pooping in the potty herself, she yells, claps and cheers for mom (and possibly dad?) whenever I go.  I didn't know I need such a celebration but I do feel pretty proud of myself!

Current Words: pee, poo, pool, papa, bubble, help, up, down, cereal, swimming, sissy, hat, sprout, toons (for cartoons), side (for outside) and Mama.  FINALLY mama!  I have waited forever to hear those sweet little words out of that angelic, tiny mouth. However.  Now all I hear is "mom. mom. mom. mama. mom. mama. mama. mama." over and over and over again. I still love hearing it but it's nonstop! I was trying to take a nap on the couch last weekend and Robert was playing with her outside; each time I was almost asleep she would run in side saying, "mama, mama, mama, HI!"

Favorite Activities: one huge development that I have noticed with her this month is that she has started pretending.  She has been picking up animal figurines or animal puzzle pieces, lions specifically, and chasing us and "roaring" at us. It's so cute to see her using that little imagination of hers!

For all of this month's pictures, click here.

First Trimester Complete!

Here we are again at the end of the first trimester, wahoo! I've been feeling good again for the last couple of weeks and I am ready for the burst of energy that they SAY comes along with the second trimester.  Shockingly I haven't gained any weight yet, I've even lost two pounds (I'll take it!).  I'm still in all of my regular clothes and someone even said to me last night, look how flat your stomach is!  It's the little things, people, the little things.

I'm still eating a ton and I haven't had any food aversions or cravings yet so I am feeling pretty normal.  Unfortunately I did have a meltdown over food last week and Robert's obliviousness about how badly I needed to eat.  To his credit, though, he did say I am starving all the time so he didn't know when it was really an emergency!

I just spent 2.5 hours in traffic picking up my sister (! worth it!) and I don't feel like taking a picture now (there's not much to see anyways) so here's one of my from last week with a little bitty bump!

To see what I looked like last pregnancy, click here.

To Work or Not To Work

I write this post because I just finished the most phenomenal book I have ever read:  Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.  I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and it's like this book was dropped in my lap at the perfect time.

Now that I am pregnant with Baby #2 I think about what will happen after birth and what my job will be like. With Mila I was terrified that after having her I would not love my job as much anymore and it would be torturous to go to work every day; thankfully that is not the case and I truly love getting up (almost) every day and going to the office.  This time around I find myself wondering if I am going to be ABLE to do it.  Will we have enough money to have both kids in childcare? Will Robert be as willing to help as much with the new baby as he did with Mila (not to mention there will be two kids to care for this time)? Will leaving two kids at home change my mind about working? Finally, I still am wondering if this time around this baby will be the one to flip the switch and leave me hating work and despising our decision to create a lifestyle that requires both Robert and I to work, even if for me it's only part time.

Not only did Sanberg give great advice for women in asking for promotions or salary negotiation a large part of the book was spent on working mothers and the desire to "have it all."  She devotes one whole chapter to Making Your Partner a Real Partner, going on to say, "I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman can make is whether she will have a life partner and who that life partner is, I don't know of one woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully supportive of her career."  Five years ago, heck even two years ago, I couldn't have understood how valuable that statement is.  I absolutely could not devote the time and passion to my job without Robert's support, especially now that we have children.  As I have said previously, it never crossed my mind that Robert and I wouldn't have a 50/50 relationship because I knew before I married him that that's just the type of man he is.  He knew how important it was to me to work and he fully supported that decision; he might not have realized at the time that there would be days he would be the primary caregiver to our children or that he would have to make sacrifices of his own, but he's still all in and I couldn't be a luckier girl.  In the book Sandberg says, "A truly equal world would be where women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes;" We've already got our home on board, guess I need to set my eyes on the company next :)

In encouraging women to continue working outside the home, Sandberg says that children who were cared for exclusively by their mothers did not develop differently than those who were also cared for by others.  She went on to quote a study that said: "Exclusive maternal care was not related to better or worse outcomes for children.  There is, thus, no reason for mothers to feel as though they are harming their children if they decide to work."  What a powerful statement.  This was  like music to my ears; with every question of "Will you continue to work" that is posed to me I always wonder if I am harming my children with my decision to stay in the workforce.  Speaking of, after reading a chapter one night I asked Robert if, since telling people that we were pregnant, anyone had asked him, "Will you continue working?"  He laughed and said not one person; I don't think there's been one person that hasn't asked me that.  I think that in itself is such a powerful example. As women we have fought so hard to be equal to men and to have the same opportunities that they do.  One of my favorite quotes from this book actually came from Judith Rodin, president of the Rockefeller Foundation and the first woman to serve as president of an Ivy League university: "My generation fought so hard to give all of you choices.  We believe in choices.  But choosing to leave the workforce was not the choice we thought so many of you would make."  Unfortunately so many women have to make this decision because their career is seen as less important to that of her husband.

Probably the most eye opening and affirming part of the book for me was in regards to child care.  Even in our relationship I know that if someone has to quit working, it will be me.  As with a large percentage of couples, Robert makes more money than me and I (think I) have more patience and desire to care for two children than he does.  I've often thought to myself, which has been confirmed by others, that if childcare gets so costly that I am working only to pay for someone to watch my kids I might as well stay home with them myself.  Sandberg, however, argues that professional women need to measure the cost of child care against their future salary rather than their current salary.  She quotes a study that says that women's average annual earnings decrease by 20% if they are out of the workforce for just one year and 30% after 2-3 years, which is the average amount of time that professional women leave the workforce.  That's a lot of money! I've invested a lot of time in my career, and I've worked hard to get to the place I am today.  It DOES make sense that continuing to work will increase compensation over time more quickly that stopping and re-starting; it makes me sad that no one has ever brought this argument up to me but I am glad that I've heard it now.

Although you might be thinking it does, this book does not shame a woman for wanting or having to stay at home with her children; rather it exalts them and argues that those moms should be recognized for the career they are doing as well, it's just much more "working mom" centered.  As you can tell, I think this book is absolutely phenomenal.  I have never been so excited to read a book nor so sad once it ended.  After reading the book it's comforting to know that I am part of a rare household and am a woman fortunate to have it all.  It's not all perfect but it IS work and it IS family and, more important, it's my all.  I get to have my cake and eat it too; and for that I will always be forever grateful to my wonderful husband.

10 Week Dr. Appointment

I had my first doctor's appointment with Dr. Nguyen today and it went great. We went over more of the "do's" and "don't's," talked about travel plans and she answered my questions.  Unfortunately this time around, with it being the second baby, we know that Robert likely won't be able to go to every appointment because of care for Mila and his working nights and my working days.  That being said he does want to be at the important appointments so I had called ahead to determine when the ultrasound would be.  Today was one of the appointments that Robert didn't come to and they did end up doing a scan for the heartbeat, which Robert missed.

Luckily, nowadays technology is among us and I was able to record the heartbeat (let me know if you want to hear it!) right there in the room (and Dr. Nguyen didn't even look at me like I was crazy).  We didn't think to record this for Mila so it's nice to have for the new baby, especially since Robert isn't able to be there every time like he was with her.

The most exciting news of the day wasn't the sound of the heartbeat, however; it was the fact that, if we COULD get a heartbeat (which we DID!), the chance of a miscarriage is less than 3% at this point. HOORAY!

Next appointments
6/26 at 3:15pm
7/31 at 4pm
9/4 at 4pm

20 Month Update - Mila

happy mother's day!

Favorite Foods: Food is the last thing on Mila's mind these days, she can hardly sit still long enough to eat.  She does love putting whole olives on her fingertips, wiggling them around and then eating them off, one by one.  A couple months ago we switched over from almond milk to soy milk which she absolutely loves; so much so that I have to take it from her mid-meal or she will fill up only on milk.

Signature Moves: Kisses for everyone! Mila kisses on the lips now when you ask for a kiss, it's the absolute most adorable thing in the world.  What's not so cute is her penchant for saying "no" all the time lately.  And it's not just that she says no, it's how she says it.  It's like "nnnnNOh;" such a sassy little thang!  We've been having more moments like this:

sassafras

and this:

what a fit!

...but we've found if you ignore it it stops!  She loves to put things on her head and then crack up at how silly she is.  Last time we were at Carters I bought Mila a necklace and bracelet and she was so enamored by it that I gave her all of my old bracelets. She now wears them, all at the same time, around the house.

Current Words: I feel like we're on the verge of a word explosion around here because Mila has started saying a lot of one-syllable words; not consistently but saying them nonetheless.  She's said "yes," "no," "hi," "bye," "cheese," "agua" (water), "si" (yes), "please," something that sounds like "thanks," "book," and "bat" to name a few.

Favorite Activities: Mila is super into reading lately and wants to read at least three books every night before bed. She will just keep going to get books and bringing them to you to read.  She loves being outside and, after being scared of her swimming pool last year, she loves being in it this year.

She also loves coloring and stickers, which is nice for a little quiet time.

For all of this months pictures, click here.

This family of three...

will soon become a family of four!

our first picture as a family of four!

Unfortunately there's no "bun in the oven" reveal this time, but I can say that I KNEW I was pregnant this time. I even told Robert about a week before my missed period; he didn't believe me of course (I'm never right!) but I knew it.  While there was nothing fancy about breaking the news to Robert, it was such a powerful, calming feeling to know before it was confirmed.

As I am only 9 weeks pregnant it's still early in the game so I will probably wait on the Facebook announcements but I wanted to have a record to look back on as I did with Mila.  This pregnancy has already been different than mine with Mila because I am not so tired this time around but I am STARVING (like waking up in the middle of the night, wanting to eat starving) all the time.  I have also been having some days where I feel pretty nauseous ; all of these differences lead my to think that it's a boy this time around but who knows!

My first doctor's appointment was last week with the nurse practitioner, who ensured that I was, in fact, 8 weeks along and my cervix looks nice and healthy.  She also confirmed my due date...Christmas Day 2014!  This is sure to be another exciting year that we are all looking forward to!

Next appointment
Wed 5/28 at 2:30pm

Poo poo in the pot-tee!

We've got big plans over here for this holiday weekend!!! I will be spending the weekend attempting to potty train Mila! Wish me luck!!

Everybody Poops is an enthralling read...Mila highly recommends it!