I'm happy to report that, in my opinion, the birth and post birth happenings were only about 2% as bad as I expected it to be. That being said, here are some things you will need to keep in mind:
1. Take the Epidural. I don't care who you are, you don't need to prove that you are super woman and can handle childbirth without any drugs. Taking the epi doesn't mean you are any less of a woman; in fact, I will automatically think you are 100 times smarter than the person who forgoes it. The ONLY down side is that you really can't feel your legs for hours, which is a little uncomfortable feeling. Examples include: having to have Robert lift my legs to stack them on top of each other, thinking my legs were curled up under me when really they were straight and my leg actually falling off the stirrup as the nurse walked away and me not being able to do a damn thing to stop it. However, this is just a small price to pay to be pain free during the labor and pushing part.
2. Number 2s Are No Longer #1. I first spoke of constipation in the first of my "truth" series, but there should be a new word for it after childbirth. Sure, you haven't pooped in months and you're so excited to have at it now that a baby has been birthed from your loins, but the second you sit on the pot after childbirth you realize someone couldn't PAY YOU to poop right now it hurts so bad. My one piece of advice: take the stool softener (the more, the merrier).
3. Murder Scene. Be prepared to bleed. A LOT. Like through the giant navel-to-buttcrack pad they give you; through the lovely mesh underwear supplied by the hospital; through the puppy pee pad-like thing they put under you on the bed. And be prepared for this to keep happening for at least a couple of weeks (although not as heavy by the time you leave the hospital). Make sure to have some full cut granny panties that you don't care about throwing away after all is said and done.
4. Perennial Soreness. After child birth, anything having to do with down south hurts. That includes, but is not limited to: peeing, pooping (or trying to), sitting, laying, bending over, squatting, sneezing, and blowing your nose. You don't realize how many day to day functions affect that area down there. Luckily, the hospital will give you different items to help with the pain (Ibuprofen, as well as stronger, prescription drugs, if needed; a spray bottle to use instead of toilet paper; witch hazel pads for a cooling effect; an antiseptic spray used for cuts (who knew this was private part safe??)).
5. Look for the Placenta. I didn't get to see mine and I am kind of sad about that.
I am SO glad that I didn't have to have a c-section, I can only imagine how many issues that would have added to my list.
Now the worst part of my whole pregnancy/labor/birth/after birth/placenta delivering process. BREASTFEEDING. Dun dun dun.
While I was pregnant I was SO excited to breastfeed. I had no reason not to think I would be the best breastfeeding, milk producer ever. I figured my freezer would look like this and I would continue pumping and feeding Mila (via bottle) breastmilk until she was like 10 years old and I would be rewarded for my efforts with massive weight loss and being so much more in love with my baby. Unfortunately, this is not the case (the breastfeeding super hero part, not the weight loss and baby love part).
Mila was quick to breastfeed and takes the breast with no problem but has a hard time staying latched on to the areola ("it's called breastfeeding, not nipplefeeding!" - La Leche League and every pro-breastfeeding person out there) due, according to the lactation consultant, her small mouth (don't all babies have small mouths???). So, for the last week, I have been feeding Mila on both sides, then pumping for 20 minutes and feeding her the bottle. As you can imagine, this is extremely time consuming and very tiresome. While I am feeding her on-demand, not allowing more than 3 hours to go by between the feedings, drinking Mother's Milk tea, taking 12 Fenugreek supplements and mustering through a non-alcoholic St. Pauli's Girl a day to increase milk supply, I don't seem to be producing very much milk. Breastfeeding is a struggle for this girl.
I have pulled out the secret stash of formula I have on hand a couple times now, stared at it on the counter and ultimately put it away because I wasn't ready to take that step yet. I'm still hanging in there with the breastfeeding; I am giving it my all and doing everything I can for at least a month but it is taking a toll on me. All of my "baby blues" feelings are centered around breastfeeding and being so upset that it's not going the way I expected it to; sadly, my mood is directly correlated to the amount I pump and/or how bad it hurts when Mila is feeding. I know Mila is doing fine as she is gaining weight (and because I made the pediatrician tell me 18 times she was ok), and I know I can only do what I can, but it still doesn't make the situation any easier to deal with. I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet but I will take any and all extra prayers (and eyelash wishes) for a complete 180 in the milk-producing/latch on process.
And, because who wants to end on a depressing note, here's a video of Roscoe:
I love you Megan! Do you best, that's all you can do!!
ReplyDeleteAnd Roscoe seems a little too cool for saying hello to the Internet world...